


Mimetic desire

by Noixdepapaye



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Rivalry, Spoilers, snk 115
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-11 16:26:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19931026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noixdepapaye/pseuds/Noixdepapaye
Summary: Alternate version of chapter 115, where Zeke wants to take away the last person Levi still has.





	Mimetic desire

Zeke was a confident man. Since Dinah and Grisha’s deportation, since he had emancipated himself from his parents’ toxicity, he had succeeded everything he had begun, so much that he had soon seen himself as the chosen one. As soon as Grisha was out of his life, his results had improved, Marleyan officers had noticed him, and the other students had looked at him with respect and admiration. The moment he had been officially named to be the next Beast Titan, and the fact that his blood was special, were signs that he was like no one else. Of course, he knew that his father had tried to indoctrinate him, to entrust Eldia’s emancipation to him, and that it was the reason why Grisha always told him he was special. So, there had been a time when he had been unsure about his own self-confidence. Maybe his father’s words still had an influence in his mind.

But soon, as his victories came one after another, it became evident that his exceptional nature was not one of Grisha’s lies. Xavier kept saying it; the Marleyan officers were impressed by his powers; he became one of their most powerful strike forces and the most feared titan shifter; Yelena and Onyakopon gave him their hope and their faith, as much as all the mercenaries who joined him and swelled the ranks. He was clever and showed it. Even Marley paid tribute to his sharp analysis, and he was allowed to speak in front of the highest officers. Whatever Zeke tried, he achieved. It was a fact, and the little scared boy soon became a confident strong man. If his father was disappointed, then it was because he was wrong. If people did not support his plan, then they were the ones wrong.

Was Zeke overconfident? Why would not he be? People reacted only two ways in front of Zeke: they trusted him, they left their own life to him, or they could not see their own mistakes and perished attempting to defeat him. No one could stop him. Those who tried, they failed.

As he grew up, as he studied human’s behaviour, he learnt that people used to love those who could protect them or give them something. No one loved for free. When two people married, it was because of the social security that the marriage could give. A parent loved their infant because it was a promise to leave something on earth after death. Yelena, while looking at Zeke, saw a meaning to her life. Onyakopon knew that he would give him the security of peace. Even Xavier, as painful as it was for Zeke to admit it, surely hoped something, like redemption. As for Grisha, who had seen in him the one who would avenge his sister. Why did he even love her? Zeke did not share enough moments with his father to know the peculiarities of his personality. Maybe it was because of social rules that decreed a brother should love his sister and protect her. Zeke always thought it was the most boring and pointless kind of love. Why would blood force a bond that did not have other motivation? He became less categorical though when he met his own brother. Did Zeke feel love for Eren? Even though it was a charming feeling, even though he was moved when he looked at his little brother, he forced himself to be honest: surely Eren was a way to groom wounds that Grisha had left on him.

Such were his two highest convictions: he was the chosen one; and everyone was using everyone for their own safety. It should be enough for people to know he wanted the best for them so they’d support him. Those who did not support him were the fools who believed in something else. Or someone else.

The first time his pride had been hurt, was the first time Levi defeated him. It was the first time he lost. How angry he had been, then, while getting back to Marley. Victory should have been his, the whole situation was in his favour, he had Reiner, Bertolt and Pieck, he was the Beast Titan, he was from royal bloodline, and the whole Survey Corps already was torn to shreds! Who was that little man who could knock out the Beast Titan? How many titans did he have killed to reach him? How many did he have defeated to get back to the wall? Zeke was furious and had felt his hatred growing up toward this shorty. How did that ignorant savage dare to rise up against him, who tried to save Eldia and the world? The fact that Levi was an Ackerman did not help. In fact, it got things worse. Suddenly, a rival had appeared from nowhere. Levi too was fated by his blood. As an Ackerman, he was not concerned by memories’ manipulations like others Eldians. He would not turn into a titan that Zeke could control. Zeke understood that the only way to get rid of him was the fight. It would be the fiercest, the hardest struggle between two chosen ones. Zeke felt like his everything rested upon his victory against the Ackerman. Levi was his Antichrist, his contrary, his natural opposite strength. They were two champions fated to confront each other. And during the first months after he got back to Marley, he could not stop but think about him. Levi became his obsession, the figure he gathered all his rage and frustration in. Each morning, he woke up in a bad mood because he could not sleep without feeling again Levi’s blade tearing his cheek up. Every face he met in his day was just so disappointing because of their triviality and their mediocrity, while he knew that his rival was waiting for him in that damned island. Playing the good Eldian warrior in front of the other, in front of Magath, of Pieck, of Reiner, was just so frustrating when Zeke really was dying to erase the insult he suffered over there. Going to sleep was just another promise to fight Levi again in his dreams. Those months were insufferable.

Then, when he understood that negotiations were his better way to get back to the island, when he understood that the next time he’d see Levi, it’d be as an ally, until he achieved his plan, Zeke had to get ready to the coming confrontation.

During Liberio’s assault, he could not help but feel a shame when Levi cut the nape of the beast titan’s corpse. It was a smokescreen of his failing. Everyone saw his rival being victorious. Even though it was a part of the plan, he did not like it. His contained hatred grew even more, in spite of himself. Levi too seemed to despise him. No word when, with some men, they got away from the battlefield. Levi’s soldiers had taken Zeke, as if the corporal had not even allowed one contact, as if he was disgusted. His grey eyes only were showing disdain and distrust to the Beast Titan. And it annoyed Zeke, who could not return the courtesy, because he had to be trusted as Paradis Island’s ally. So, while Levi openly sent him some cutting remarks, Zeke had to hold back his own anger. He knew too that Levi would be in charge of his detention. How long the next weeks would be!

That night, on the blimp, Zeke noted how Levi was respected and loved. Eren’s friends treated him with esteem. They seemed to admire him. Even Floch, whose Zeke knew the name by Yelena, and who was about to betray the Survey Corps for him, could not help but show deference. It remained him that no one loved for free. Floch was not lying more than any others. Everyone, Mikasa and Armin, who Zeke knew as his brother’s best friends, or that Jean guy, everyone had entrusted their will to Levi because he was strong. Without his Ackerman’s power, no one would have looked at him. Everything was strength business. Maybe some of the most fervent admirers would betray Levi too when learning that Zeke was stronger.

That night, Zeke saw Hanji Zoe too. He knew by Eren she was a clever woman. He saw it immediately. By her words, her remarks, her whole attitude. She immediately knew that Eren could not be trusted anymore. With only one sentence, she neutralized every lies the Jaeger brothers could have used to justify Eren’s assault. Zeke liked clever people. They were the most interesting. He always learnt from them.

Then he felt that bond between her and Levi. He saw how their hands discreetly but affectionately brushed. He saw how their eyes searched contacts. He heard their voice softening. When that boy came to announce their friend’s death, that Sasha girl Eren had talked about, he noted how it affected Hanji, how she then seemed to look for comfort from Levi, and how he gave it to her, with kindness. No need to be this observant to understand their strong bond. The love from Hanji to Levi was not surprising. As everyone, she liked him for his strength. But what would Levi need from her? Why would he love someone, if he was this strong? First, Zeke thought about mere sexual encounters, and it pleased him to think that Levi could yield to animal needs while the Beast Titan always had been able to get over that kind of occupations.

But then he noted, when they were isolated in the giant trees’ forest, how Levi behaved when Hanji was mentioned. When the resupplying soldier came, some words were exchanged, about the current situation, about officers’ decisions or soon about Jaeger faction’s last actions. Among that, always that little caring asks: “How is doing Hanji?”, “How is she?”, “Are Jean and Armin with her?”

“Could’nt see her, when I left, she had already disappeared to interrogate Onyakopon.”

So that woman kept suspecting Zeke. She truly was brilliant. Fortunately for Zeke, she did not seem charismatic enough to convince others officers. Charisma is a self-trust affair. No one can get somebody’s faith while not believing in their own ability. And doubting is the proof of intelligence. If Yelena’s observations were right, Commander Hanji Zoe suffered from a lack of self confidence, and no wonder then that she came to Levi’s side. Ackerman’s aura should be enough to counterbalance her own fear. But surely seeing Zeke was stronger than Levi would certainly harm her love and trust toward the Ackerman. And if she was truly clever, she would understand, if someone explained to her, why Zeke’s plan was the better way to end the war.

But then again was Levi’s part. His attitude, his reserve, made Zeke think that he did not see correctly their relation. On the blimp, they had lost that little girl that they loved, for one reason or another, so maybe only that night they were most effusive and talked more with body language. However, then, the little man showed more distance and yet more interest. If it had been only sexual, would Levi keep caring for her while she was far away from him?

Moreover, his coldness, his clumsiness with people’s feelings, were signs that, one day, made Zeke react : “You shouldn’t go around assuming you understand how other people feel, you know. I bet you’re not popular with the ladies”.

He had said it without a real purpose, on the spur of the moment. But Levi’s answer intrigued him.

“I’ve been popular before.”

What a strange answer, from such a mute. Was it frustration or shame? Did it concern Hanji? Zeke felt like there was possibly something to use. So, from time to time, he kept testing the corporal; his asks about women in general did not impact his rival; but when he threw innocently some comments about Hanji, watching out for Levi’s reaction, it was more efficient.

“Why waiting for Marley to counterattack? Is your superior that blind, with her eye patch and glasses?”

“She’s not the one who rules the island. And she had her own, good plans that Eren and you stamped on by attacking Liberio, so you should lie low.”

“So, you’re the only one not drinking wine. I understand why your commander chose you, you’re worth her trust.”

“She knows I’m not getting drunk, unfortunately for you, bearded”

“That’s paltry literature, and I’ve already read it for fifth times. Is there any clever person who could lend me any other book? Well, your commander, why don’t you ask her to send me some books of her choice, next time, inside the full-tea cart? I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t take her as much time as getting you all that char.”

“Do you think she’s gonna talk literature with the one who murdered all our soldiers? Be happy with your book and shut up.”

“Blades, thunderspears, rifles, blinding and deafening grenades... For people who are a century late, you’re well armed. I understood you commander is your engineer too? The grenades are clever. Neutralising me without killing a royal blood titan. She’s brilliant, really.”

“Do you want to try it now? It’s when you want.”

Zeke made out that little quaking from Levi each time Hanji was mentioned. Moreover, the corporal soon was aware of how the titan shifter insistently spoke about her. And it seemed like it irritated him.

“Who did choose that forest? I can’t believe you did, it’s far too intelligent to be your idea. Did your commander do? She seems like a brilliant per...

“Will you stop telling shit? No one wants to hear you here”

What Zeke first saw as a game soon became a skilful way to learn more about Levi, and to worry him. During the next resupplying, he heard the corporal asking his soldier: “Is Hanji alright? Next time you see her, tell her to not run around like a headless chicken, or not alone. Onyakopon is not trustworthy. Jean or Connie must follow her.”

Good. Levi was not chilled, and it pleased Zeke. Even though he did not know if Hanji was a friend or more to Levi, quite evidently she mattered to him. She was a weak point Zeke could take advantage of, yet he did not know how. He did not even know when he met her again.

Then Zeke got back to his first wonder: why was Levi attached to her? What could Hanji give to him so he felt this way to her? Levi was enough strong to not suffer from low self-esteem, and everyone around him showed respect and kindness to him because he was their defender. So what did Levi need that only Hanji could give to him? Cleverness? Kindness? Comfort feeling? No suggestion could satisfy Zeke.

Gradually, an idea made its way through his mind. Could Levi like Hanji gratuitously? Could he be the first selfless friend or lover Zeke had met? And then it stroke him. Levi and he were the two stronger men in humanity. They did not need anything. So, would not they be the only ones able of the true disinterest, the true spontaneity in relationship? Maybe that kind of romanticised love which everyone fantasized about, and that he liked to laugh about, was only reachable to them both. Maybe Hanji did not need to give anything to Levi, maybe he liked or loved her for who she was.

Then, what if the woman Levi loved suddenly concurred with Zeke? What if she chose Zeke instead of Levi? Would not it be the toughest victory for Zeke, the rudest defeat for Levi?

Zeke wondered how Levi and Hanji had met. If they had immediately liked each other. He wanted to know if they were both in love with each other. How satisfying it would be to learn that Levi’s love to Hanji was not reciprocal. How glorious Zeke would feel if he could reach a woman his rival always had desired but never could have. Imagining Levi’s pain, his jealousy, his prostration was sweet to Zeke. He liked the idea to deprive his rival of the woman he loved, of his hope of a peaceful life with her, of the kindness he could find with her. Or were they more sister and brother like? Zeke once thought about this possibility, but concluded that it didn’t matter. And his certitude kept growing, eluding other kind of bonds that could exist between the two Eldians. It was evident that taking Hanji from Levi would tremendously hurt him.

So Zeke thought more often about her. Indeed, she was a beautiful, clever woman, from what he had been able to see. Levi certainly was not a lady-killer, but he had taste. Maybe Hanji did not match beauty ideals, but no one could tell she was not pretty. She emitted the consistency of a mature woman. She kind of remained him Pieck, but more experienced, maybe more feminine. And Zeke thought that, if the two women had met each other in others circumstances, they would have got along. But Pieck still was a young girl, still had some features that did not let forget she was an adolescent only five years ago. Zeke remembered that he first saw Hanji’s eyepatch, a scar from her last battles. Her scar, and her commander’s role, and the pertinence of all her words, her whole attitude were testament to her maturity. And Zeke remembered too the pretty curved line of her shape, her breasts and hips hidden under that tight uniform.

Talking to her, enthralling her, convincing her, right in front of Levi, maybe giving in to her charm for his own turn, feeling what Levi could feel for her, feeling it better, and being reciprocal, conquering her, and finally getting her to embrace him and his cause. Witnessing both his victory and Levi’s defeat, prostration and crushing. Getting both an extraordinary woman and the disappearance of his most dangerous rival.

Zeke could not have sweeter dreams. And during his moribund stay, while waiting for the news about Eren’s jailbreak and Zackley’s murder, he hardly had other business. So, when Levi looked at him reading his book for the sixth time, Zeke’s mind had already broken away from the lines and his eyes, attached to the page, only saw the corporal’s anger and powerlessness when his dear beauty left him to his rival’s arms.

He was aware of his own fantasy. He did not know when he met Hanji again, if it happened. And assuming that he could see her again, how could he talk to her? How could he make her yield to his appeal if he did not have the opportunity of a discussion? Moreover, his plan was clear, he just needed to find Eren, and his brother’s break-out was approaching. No time and no need to rally new allies.

He soon realised that Hanji surely was the only one who knew their emplacement, with that resupplying soldier. If Floch showed himself to be clever, he would make her bring them to Zeke, and so he would bring her to him. With her as an hostage, Levi would not pose any problem. And if he did, one scream should be enough.

And then, Hanji would understand Zeke was the only chosen one. She would join him, support him, he would find her a role, make her the defender of the island while the last Eldians would live their life peacefully, or he would make her the spokesperson to claim Marley to let Eldia ending quietly. She would be his, by both reason and feeling, and Levi would not exist anymore.

And, from time to time, Zeke lifted his eyes to look at the corporal, who did not even know _ and this was what pleaded the most the titan shifter _ that he had already lost everything.

The day came when Zeke, connected to all the soldiers who had drunk the wine, heard the news he was waiting for. Eren was free, and the army disrupted.

But again, Levi was zealous. “We’ll transfer Zeke’s beast. Grab one of those jaegerists or something, turn them into a titan, and feed Zeke to them”

How much Zeke hated this man. If he did not react right then, Levi would waste everything.

So he screamed. Every soldier turned into titan while he was running away. He thought it would be enough to kill Levi.

This was how he ended up with a thunderspear in the stomach.

Those hours in that cart, while his whole body suffered, while Levi seemed to take perverse pleasure in cutting off his limbs, while the horses slowly made their way toward his certain death, Zeke included those hours among the worst of his life. Defeated, wounded, cut like meat, powerless, he felt humiliated, even more humiliated than during Shinganshina’s battle. He remembered how Grisha kept looking at him when he was a child, with those disappointed eyes Zeke never managed to forget. Levi’s new landslide tasted like his failed when he was that child. He could not suffer it. Nothing mattered, then. This was why he exploded himself.

He did not see that Levi too had been blown up. He just remembered that strange vision. The Path. When he understood it, when he understood that little girl was Ymir, was the crowning moment. Then he knew his conviction to be the chosen one was right. He was experimenting a true resurrection. That occult event that only the prophets and demigods from the antic cults had known, he, Zeke Jaeger, was then living it. Ymir was bringing him back from the dead. Because what he wanted to do was right. Because it had to be done. So, while the young girl slowly was sculpting again his body, tiredness disappeared and a new energy came to him. He felt like there was nothing he could not do. The confidence he had before meeting Levi for the first time was back, increased and strengthened. No miracle was out of reach. He was catapulted next to the legendary figures that spangled all the pantheons. And as Ymir finished healing him, as he slowly felt like he peacefully fell asleep, he knew that, when he woke up, he would move directly toward the victory.

Gradually, he regained consciousness. Some voices had woken him up.

“What... happened here?! – Be careful! – Titan ahead! – There’s body parts everywhere!”

The pain was gone. Instead, Zeke felt really good. Like when he was in his titan’s body. However, except the warm and the noises, all his senses were like asleep too. Slowly he opened his eyes. Darkness.

“Someone’s there!” a woman voice shouted.

Zeke tried to move his arms. Something obstructed his moves. He wanted to get out. To breathe fresh air.

“Commander Hanji, you need to stay still!”

To get out. He pulled his arms to free himself. To find back his senses.

“Hey! Are you alive?!”

Of course he was. He just needed to extricate himself. He pulled again. He tried to move his legs. Something then seemed to tear up.

When he got out of the titan, daylight did not even blind him, as if his eyes were already prepared. He straight away saw men who were staring at him with emotion. They did not move, did not fear the dead titan behind him, they just gravely took off their hood as a fortunate sunny spell appeared. In a religious silent, Floch lend him his cape so he could hide his crotch. Zeke had no doubt about the impression he made on them.

Then he saw Levi’s corpse.

Relief and delight. Finally his rival was dead. Zeke would have liked a more glorious fight, though. But no one had seen him with that thunderspear in the stomach. No one would know his humiliation. He could tell what he wanted.

“I don’t know what happened here...” Floch told while walking toward Levi’s corpse, “...but we got luck. Our biggest threat covered in his own blood”.

Why was Zeke so slow to get near from a corpse? Levi was dead-still in the arms of the soldier who had found him. At their mercy.

“I’ll send a shot through his head” a jaegerist said.

“He’s dead”.

Then, Zeke looked at this soldier who just had talked and was holding the corpse. He recognized Hanji Zoe. It was a new sign that destiny only had favours and smiles to him.

“He must have been hit by a thunder spear explosion from close range”

Always a brilliant mind who understood everything straight away. Someone Zeke could not deceived about the fact prints.

But then he could not help but see how careful she held Levi, how protective she lifted him. Her hand was prudently on his nape, her eye did not leave his bloodied mortified face. When every men here had been staggered and captivated by his appearance, when he had just come back from death, she only had eyes for that dislocated cadaver. Her voice was clear though. She did not show any emotion. Did Zeke dream their bond? Was she indifferent to Levi’s death?

“I saw something similar in a training accident. His organs are in even worse shape than how he looks. He died immediately”

“I know how to tale a pulse. Let me see him.”

So Floch too did find Hanji’s attitude surprising. And the way she finally brought Levi’s body closer, the killer look she gave to Floch did not allow doubting. Levi, astonishingly, still lived, and she just tried to protect him from an ineluctable death. Always that brilliant mind.

“Floch.”

Zeke, while stopping Floch from threatening Hanji, was surprised by how loud and confident his voice had resonated. Ymir’s good deeds surely had to have reached the depths of his soul. He felt like a new man with an unlimited power. While the young soldier gazed at him without understanding, the titan shifter slowly walked toward the last two veterans. From each step his formidable aura emanated, he knew it by the way everyone was contemplating him. It would be a sight for those lucky onlookers. They would be present at an event the books would relate later as a miracle: the day he saved his own enemy Hanji Zoe, as a prophet, and made her his disciple, his apostle.

“Sir?”

“Get back, Floch. She’s your commander”

In front of Hanji, overlooking at a dying Levi, in front of the picture of his own victory Zeke felt the whole extent to his power. He just came back to life. He got over death because Ymir, he just had seen it, chose him to save Eldia. All the soldiers behind had witnessed it. And they would witness what was going next. He felt like that very moment could be a new demonstration of his extraordinary will. To rally Hanji Zoe, to make her abandon a dying Levi would be one of his most glorious victory. Was it a way to counterbalance the too fast fail of Levi?

He remembered everything he knew about her, her lack of self-confidence, her devotion to humanity, her sharp mind. He thought how he usually convinced people to join him, showing them he was the stronger and their interests were his victory. Convincing and reassuring. Conquer her reason and her emotions.

Hanji was looking up at him and he could read in her eye how badly she hated him. It would not be easy task. But she was intelligent and would know he was right.

“We both know he’s alive” A sentence that sounded like a threat without actually being one, so Hanji would feel cornered but not desperate. Zeke knew how to pace his speech.

She did not answer, just tightened her embrace around unconscious Levi. Zeke secretly prayed Levi still heard him so he would witness his dear comrade leaving him for his rival. It would not be easy, but it would work.

“And we both know he matters to you”

Hatred moved on to mistrust on Hanji’s face. She already knew he wanted to manipulate her, so she was on the defensive. Maybe she already was waiting for a deal which would have Levi as a hostage. Again, what a brilliant woman.

Zeke tried something he yet thought hasty. He squatted down and raised his hand to touch Hanji’s shoulder. Wrong move, he immediately told himself, when Hanji violently repulsed his arm.

“Don’t dare touch me!”

“Okay, forgive me”

Did she fear him trying to manipulate her memory with his royal blood? He did not even think about it. It would be cheating. He had to conquer her while she still was perfectly conscious. So his victory upon Levi would be total. But really, she was so clairvoyant she had seen something he did not even considerate.

“Do you want to know what happened?” Zeke answered, but he did not wait for her answer, because he had to keep a tight rein on the dialogue. “He first killed all your soldiers when I turned them into titans; I did it because he planned to kill me, no matter what you ordered him.”

He marked a quick pause to see her reaction, to estimate her sensitiveness, but even if he noted a quaking in her breath, learning all her soldiers had died, she did not drop her guard. “ _I see, you’re a hard nut to crack, aren’t you? But I know some words that’ll speak to you, honey_ ”

“He killed those soldiers because he knew he had to sacrifice them.”

The Survey Corps’ inclination to self-sacrifice, he was about to enhance and to crush at once.

“Which made me think Levi and I are not that different. We both make things we don’t like. I guess everyone is in that situation. But as forces of nature, his and my decisions have more consequences. I killed all those soldiers, four years ago, because I had to. Levi killed his men because he had to. But I’m not gonna teach you that sacrifice thing”

“You bet” she seethed.

“The difference between Levi and me is our goal. Levi fought in vain. What did he have in mind when we struggled? What were his plans for the next day? Did he have a solution to save Eldia? That plan, made with Azumabito’s clan, I gave it to him. He was unable of long-range planning”

“And now, you’re gonna say you are” Her voice was cynic and weary. She looked down at Levi, and her hostility softened to worry for his comrade. Zeke did not like this look. He did not like it at all. While he was extending a hand to her, while he was setting his project out for her, while a lot of people would have struggled to be in her place, to have him talking to them this way, she just looked away, she just showed anxiety to a dead man, as if Zeke’s speech only was a waste of a time that could have been used to save Levi. She could not truly care about a corpse. Zeke was sure it was a masked way to mock him and his ambitions. He stared at Levi’s disfigured face, felt repugnance seeing the scare that crossed his visage among blood and shreds of flesh, and could not bear that his dying rival still stole her eye.

“Think about it. Think about a way to end the war peacefully, without titans anymore, without Marley attacks. I know this way. I just need people as clever as you to make sure it happens when I’m not here anymore.”

She did not react, she seemed to focus on her hand on Levi’s chest, as if she discreetly was checking his breath or his heart rate. Or was it a caress?

“You _are_ clever, Hanji Zoe. You keep proving it.” Tackling her lack of confidence, complimenting her. “You are the last war leader on this island. Zackley’s dead. Pixis and Nile always had a cushy job. They weren’t to Shinganshina, four years ago. They didn’t lose their eye back then. What did they do, to deserve their place?” But she kept ignoring him. “Whereas Eren told me you were chosen by your predecessor.” A slight sidelong glance, in which Zeke thought he saw pain too, but still no real reaction. “I remember how that commander ran right toward his death. He knew he wasn’t gonna make it, and yet, he screamed and cheered on his men. He didn’t fear sacrifice. He too did what had to be done. Do you deny it?” He was tired of her silence. He wanted her to react, to give him some material to work on, he would have liked her anger and her insults better than her silence. Her lack of confidence, her last commander, her cleverness, he had tried everything, but she did not understand that he did it for her good, for Eldia’s good, that it was his hour of glory and that she was ruining it in front of his men. And the worst was that damned Levi in her arms. Did Zeke see a smile upon that twisted lips? He knew he had imagined it, but what if Levi still heard what was happening? Another fail in front of him? Zeke would not tolerate it, he would make her answer first and then yield.

“Silence’s not gonna save him, Hanji”

Hanji did not answer though. She did not look at him either. Her eye stayed on Levi’s face, so Zeke was unable to see her expression. It seemed like she was dying to answer, to spit in his face, he saw it by shudders that had crossed her body when he had mentioned the last commander. But she held herself, because she had reached a deadlock, she could not hope escape with her dying comrade, so she stayed silent, fearing a clumsy answer would precipitate Levi’s death.

“Do you deny it?” Zeke however was about to lose it.

“Did you hoodwink Eren with those beautiful words?” she finally asked.

He suddenly had to hold back too. While she was again tightening her embrace around Levi’s body, while her hand slowly ran under his cape and jacket to find others injuries, Zeke was reduced to observe how his eloquence, so effective in front of Yelena or Onyakopon, who were yet sneaky minds, just met then with Hanji’s sagacity. Behind him, he heard Floch mumbling about her, he thought that guy would want to hurry up, but her resistance got him angrier.

“Yeah, you’re really too smart to believe me on first attempt. But listen to me now.”

No prudence anymore. He grabbed her by her shoulder, with one arm since the other still held the cape around his waist, so he could not make her leave Levi, but at least she was facing him, and she tried free herself but could not be this brutal with Levi’s body in her other hand. Since his eloquence was useless in front of her, since she_ rightly _ regarded his reasoning as a fallacious speech to deceive her, he would stop to embellish his words. He would thrill her by the violence of his spontaneity and by the strength of his determination. She would have no choice.

“Would I lose my time with someone I don’t need? Would I waste my energy and my rhetoric to someone who quite evidently wants me dead?”

She was looking at him in the eyes, and from then he had her full attention. While speaking, he kept staring at her, at her one eye, having that superstitious feeling that, if he looked away, she would get back to Levi.

“Think about your island, your people. They all are Marley’s target by now. We need a collective effort to survive, and Levi did not want to understand it, he kept talking about the sacrifices he did but couldn’t see those I did, those I had to do. He was stubborn and he was wrong. Would he have killed his soldiers, _all his thirty soldiers_ , if he did fight for his people? Without any hesitation? Would you have?”

The ideas tumbled out in his mouth. And he kept talking, he wanted to say that Levi was a monster as much as he was, that Levi was even worse because he did not think about the result of his actions, he was a stupid rabid dog, he was her opposite, she deserved better than such a devil, she was wrong loving him, she had to see Zeke was her best option, her best guarantee to survive, but what would she answer, she would rebuke him for all the deaths he had caused, and what did he have to tell her to prevent that objection, and then he said:

“I don’t want you to forgive me for what I did to people you loved. I want you to overcome your hatred to me, so you’ll be able to see what’s right. I want you to be smarter than him. And I know you are. Just don’t let Levi’s mistakes blind you.”

And she was still looking at him, her eye did not show hatred anymore, mostly anxiety because of his hand still on her shoulder, and another feeling he did not recognize, maybe his torrent of words overwhelmed her, but he kept talking, kept staring at this beautiful worried eye.

“With me, and if I have your help, this island will be impregnable. Its people will be safe and live their life peacefully until they die, and they’ll die a natural death, I swear to you, Hanji Zoe. There’s no tricky bit. I’ll never let Marley hurt your people.”

They were his people too, he was an Eldian just as she was, except that he was from royal bloodline, and as he kept talking, he wondered if he was telling too much, he felt like he could not stop himself, like he tasted the true spontaneity that determined Levi’s bond to Hanji.

“Do you think I’d betray Marley just to lash out at Eldia? Don’t you see I gave everything I could have so your people can be free? I let my grand-parents over there, they raised me and I don’t know today if Marley is torturing them to know my intentions, do you think I’d definitely abandon them to their death if it wasn’t worth it?”

And now he was unveiling to her his only remorse, the way he had abandoned his grandparents and destructed the only home he had had one day, the only refuge he had enjoyed when he was younger and when he still could have stepped back. He had wanted to stop that thought, and right then he was showing it to her.

“I have to do this, because I belong to the royal bloodline, I’m the only one who can do it. It’s my fate and my duty. I just blew up with Levi’s thunder spear, and yet I’m alive, talking to you, because Ymir made me come back, she let me in the Path and healed me. The Path, that link between all Eldians you foresaw. Eren told me about your theories. Being 100 years late, you saw right through a mystery the most famous Marleyan scientists can’t explain. You, only you killed all the titans by yourself, by designing the guillotine, do you have any idea how extraordinary your exploit is?”

Did Levi once speak to her like that? Zeke wish he had known her better so he could have read into the various glints in her eye. However, he was sure anger had disappeared, he knew he was heard and listened. Her hand had let his arm, had carelessly felt over again under Levi’s jacket, while Zeke’s thumb had shyly dared to discreetly stroke her shoulder. How beautiful her eye’s palette was, really. What a shame she had lost one. And suddenly, Zeke felt a lump in his throat, reminding he had only one year left to live. It would have been such a delight to spend more time with her. He surprisingly understood Levi. He felt more haste to rally her.

“Even though I may want to hoodwink you, would it erase all your credit? Don’t you think your sharp mind would be a decisive benefit for your island?”

And then, he took her hand in both his, and held her intensely, forgetting his coat, almost pulling her to him.

“Hanji Zoe. I want you by my side.”

He felt he was slowly winning by the way she surrendered her hand, unlike her brutal resistance only minutes ago. It felt good but was not enough, he knew he would be satisfied only when Hanji dropped Levi’s head and let the little man dying alone while she left linked to his own arm. How bad he would soon like the idea of Levi’s corpse rotting in the open air, in the middle of nowhere, while Zeke tasted a company that his enemy loved and that he would never have back! How bad he would enjoy each moment with her, each audacious tentative to get closer to her!

A last time, Hanji pulled her hand back from his hold, almost shyly, and got back to Levi’s chest. But she did not look at his comrade, she avoided Zeke’s looks too, glancing at the jaegerists behind him, and Zeke saw in her the last remorse, the last shame to abandon her friend. But Levi was defeated, and Zeke knew it, and Zeke wanted the mortal blow.

“Levi fought well but now he’s dying. Suppose he survives, what would he do in that state? Even though he would have been unharmed, would he have stopped Marley with his small blades? He belongs to another time. He was a small man with small expectations. You deserve better. You are able of better. Let him there. I even can make you forget him if his death is painful. I just need one touch. And then, we will save Eldia, you and I.”

Her hand was back under his jacket, for a last caress, Zeke decided. She became a symbol to him. As clever and suspicious as she was, as much she liked Levi, she could not resist to him. And so, despite all he did to her and her men and friends, if this brilliant woman accepted to follow him, to fight for him, to like him instead of Levi, then no one could oppose him. She was a trophy he would sport with pride. The more she would be conquered, the more he would be powerful. And he knew he would not let her doubt anymore.

“Give me your hand. Come with me where you’ll be useful.”

He extended his hand to her. He was certain he did not see hatred in her eye anymore. She was going to accept.

And he saw her accept. Her arm that was delicately swathing Levi’s dislocated body slowly extended. She was looking at him. It was his victory. All the jaegerists behind him witnessed how that woman who had given them a hard time at Nicholo’s restaurant, who had just tried to hide the corporal’s survival to protect him, now was convinced. And while Zeke was savouring his omnipotence, while he was absorbed in this beautiful, hypnotizing eye that had already forgotten Levi, he took in both his hands Hanji’s fist.

And that was when he noticed she was holding something.

“Watch and learn what a true sacrifice is, boy.”

And then, she triggered the blinding grenade she had found tied to Levi’s belt, hidden under his jacket. Destabilised, dazzled, Zeke fell onto his butt, losing his coat, while he heard the jaegerists screaming from the brutal aggression, and then a water noise.

When Zeke could see again, Hanji and Levi had disappeared. Behind him, Floch and the other soldiers were as disorientated as he was.

“Where are they?!”

“She threw themselves in the river!”

“Don’t let them go!”

Without waiting for his orders, three Floch’s men reached their horses and galloped after the last Survey Corps’ members.

Zeke felt humiliated again. Again, Levi won. Again, someone flouted his omnipotence. Who was that Hanji Zoe to ridicule him? What did have Levi so she would not abandon him? He wanted to have them back, to use violence, to trample on Levi’s hideous face right in front of her, he wanted her to regret what she had just done, to beg for her comrade’s life, for her own safety, but he then remembered that those guys from the Survey Corps were fanatics who did not think straight and were able to gallop right toward their death to have the last word, what did he hope he could get from that woman? Why did not he let Floch kill Levi right in her arms, and dirty her sweet fickle face with her lover’s blood? What if Levi was still conscious, what if he had heard Zeke’s new defeat?

And all he could do was staying silent and bearing the jaegerists’ looks, because he did not want to show how it affected him, so he demanded trousers so he would not have to cover himself with that laughable emblem, and he ordered that they rode toward Eren, like if he already forgot Hanji and Levi, but he cursed them when the three soldiers returned empty-handed, enraged while thinking how he could have ended Levi’s life, and how that guy just escaped from him in those desired arms.


End file.
